its a friday, two days to my english paper.
the only exam i look forward to.
the morning was eventful to say the least.
when i left house the sky was charcoal grey.
and when i was reaching the bus stop, oh god the wind started howling.
running for the bus, book in hand, earphones sliding down, ponytail holder tugging off my strands = catastrophe.
im a walking mess.
so i wondered, if i should continue hating you.
and i have every reason to do so, but still.
i was thinking if you changed me in any way, what it's like before and after knowing you.
little had changed, except one- i dont think i trust guys anymore.
i know its ridiculous, im just a fifteen year old who knows nothing better.
but its true, it did affect me in some way.
for being a foolish idiot, for ignoring the judgmental looks people gave you,
and look where i landed.
im confused, bothered more like.
thinking if i should continue being cautious, or just let it be.
yes, im cautious of who text me, how often and when to block them away.
for guys cant be trusted.
most of them anyway, an exception to some.
whatever it is, i learnt to trust myself, more than any other person.
but ironically i seem to be letting my guard down.
and i do not know if i should get back up again and protect myself.
cause trust's always broken.
but only one gets hurt.
