Hello there again.
not sure if this would be the last entry till Os are over, for real.
only 38 more days.
really have to focus already, or i'll be unhappy for the rest of my life.
i havent been sleeping well.
it's insane.
endorphins drop drastically to a minimum and my mind goes into active mode.
i never knew my memory is this good at night, everything seems 300% more lucid.
its like lying in a time machine, unable to get out after hours.
and it brings you right back, to all the unexpected moments of your life.
and you get hit.
hit right deep inside this little organ in the middle of your chest.
its a hollow feeling, as if someone stuck a syringe in you and took something out.
know what i mean?
resting today and tomorrow.
time to get fit again, gonna do a long run tonight and swim tomorrow.
im dead stressed.
driving me crazy.
they say we put too much pressure on ourselves, us Arians.
trying to be perfect in everything, accepting every challenge for the sake of pride.
unable to accept defeat even when the winner has been named.
always believing that one day, one day something will change.
it exhausting.
to be constantly reminded that If only, if only i had done something.
it is tiring, to feel as if you're never good enough.
i hate it.
decaying beauty.
Dead depressing entry right.
my apologies.
oh at least something good happened.
yours truly can fit in The Jeans again.
and there's my favourite tee.
It's the cat from one of the Studio Ghibli films.
