Not sure if you guys realised but i went back to read through my past entries,
and to be honest, it felt so bad i had to drink my oreo chocolate milkshake.
I felt bad because i realized i was a complete other person in the past,
superficial, mean, and everything else bad.
And it didnt feel good, because it hurts a little to realise i've wasted my entire childhood/growing up process being that person.
This isn't a pity story.
Just to resonate why i deleted half of the blogposts.
I remember that there was so much pain back then, things i couldnt understand as a child.
Apparently i guess i was too immature to see the bigger and better things in life.
The friends you make are important.
I think i had the nightmare of friends from primary 1, and as i grew up,
i probably chose the wrong people to hang around and affect my life as well.
Then again, i've had wonderful people in my growing up life who stuck by me and grew with me.
who warned me of all the 'bad' influences that could be possibly ruining my life.
well i learnt it the hard way hahahha.
But what's done is done, and i cant relieve my growing years or whatsoever.
but hey, somewhere along secondary school life, something snapped in me,
i started actually making sense, and hello i grew up bit by bit to be Me!
hahahhahaha.
I honestly think the best years of my life would be when i was 16 all the way till now.
And i like myself a million times better now.
Actually,
now that i think about it...
I should have known or talked to an adult when i was younger and didn't like myself.
that would have set things right i think?
I've no idea if it's actually real depression since i never got diagnosed,
but i do remember that my parents were trying their best to talk to me but i thought they didnt understand.
For all of you out there who may be feeling the same way as i did,
please talk to someone you can trust?
It would save you a lot of trouble, and once you get it by, you'll feel so much happier than you've ever known you could feel.
I'm glad i got out of it,
and changed a different perspective in things.
As i was reading through the entries,
i did realise that there was part of the present me back then,
just that it was hidden under so many bricks and debris,
i couldn't see it myself.
I'm still the same person who loved writing and making up stories, who loved to make desserts for anyone willing to eat them, still the same girl who collects soft toys and drinks chocolate milk every morning.
Although i would like to think that i've actually grew prettier over the years hahahhahahahah.
(wanted to say it's a joke but... nope)
I do feel a lot more comfortable being myself right now.
and that's a good thing no??
#selfreflectiononasaturdaymorning
When you're a better person, you meet better people.
and i've met so many nice people, some especially nicer than others.
and im really really happy with my life right now (:
Speaking of which, IT'S THE HOLIDAYS!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
Last day of school was relatively awesome (y)
Celebrated Karin's birthday, (finally, i missed birthdays!)
went to Greenzilla to try new veggie burgers,
and watched SHINE! with Joel and his family,
and met his friends who were friendly people (doubleyay)
Friday well spent~
Gonna be waitering tonight with sharon again,
pretty excited for it.
havent seen her for the longest time ever.
