I caught a cold, from the air that fills my lungs.
It made me curl up in bed, sniffing endlessly
and i fell asleep for hours with my army of toys.
I woke up awhile after that,
and just laid there for awhile, allowing my thoughts to consume me.
What is my purpose on Earth?
Do i have one? Do people have a purpose on earth?
What's the purpose of everything?
What's the point of my existence in this very moment?
I laid there questioning myself for a pretty long time.
Are we merely humans that will be forgotten one day when we leave?
will i be replaced and whisked to the back of each and every one of your minds after a year or two?
I laid there and thought for awhile.
What is the purpose of my life?
Am i here to read books and gain knowledge just to get a certificate?
Am i here simply to earn bucks and have a family of my own?
Am i here to keep myself lean and pampered to impress society and gain it's favor for up-keeping a pretty face?
I laid there thinking,
and i have zero idea.
I long for the day i find my true and sole purpose of Life,
find some sort of direction that I can work towards.
find a passion that i would genuinely want to pursue forever.
leave my mark on this world.
Some days like these,
with my snuffy nose which makes me feel like a sad cat with a cone,
i lay there awake on my bed on a Saturday afternoon,
quietly wishing for an anchor and some sort of familiarity back in my life.
some days like these,
i wish that Change is never a constant in life.
I wish that it is an inconstant.
Some days like these I wish to be curled up on a Saturday afternoon drinking warm honey (that you proudly claim is your specialty), doing some homework, watching a movie or even lying on the wooden floor with pillows alongside you
Just like a normal teenager, with nothing to think about, simply living in the present, in the moment.
And then it strikes me that nope, Change is the only constant in life.
The wave of reality hitting me squarely in the chest,
as i rolled on my side towards the wall, feeling so utterly helpless,