Can someone explain to me how it is that I never seem to get enough rest?
The idea of having a break doesn't seem feasible since prelims are continuing in two days but darn it I AM TIRED.
And it really sucks cause whenever I decide to take a "break" i guilt trip myself into resting for half a day and then forfeiting the rest of the day by "easy studying" which doesn't turn out to be very easy after all.
That was yesterday.
Caught step up in theatres which although wasn't as good as I expected was still pretty sick (the dance moves) and then went home and felt guilty for resting so I studied lit which accumulated to a "fml im screwed for prelims" situation.
So much for rest day?!
Right so the panic session drove me to wake up at 6am this morning, get to school at 730am and basically mugged like a hermit till 4pm.
Im on the bus travelling home rn.
My back hurts. And my head hurts.
And I know I can't blame anybody because who asked me to drag all these stuff to school and be so hard on myself anyway?
I don't know.
I think it's alright to work hard but damn I got to stop being so hard on myself.
Im usually driven by some incentive to work hard, whether it's a promise to get icecream after but God knows how many icecream treats i've robbed myself/owe myself.
-Presently: reached home layed on the floor and had a good 5 mins of bawling-
Is it embarrassing that I openly announce to the world that im having a breakdown/burning out?
I doubt so, im a human after all.
It's only natural.
Anyway,
Today i've realised that if im a small kid,
I am too a bad parent that lies to the lil girl and offers her empty promises.
Does that make sense?
I don't take care of myself well enough.
And it's really time I do something about those empty promises that I make to myself.
"How to befriend yourself"
I read this article on allwomenstalk.
And honestly this isn't an app for... Stalking as the name suggests.
I don't know why they name it this way but it's a lifestyle app,
Think Pinterest with a touch of thoughtcatalog.
For women.
Anyway one of the points was a qn:
Do you treat yourself like how you treat a friend if they're having a bad day? You probably aren't as kind to yourself as you would to them.
Which is absolutely true.
Be kind to yourself,
Cause if you don't love yourself, who will?
At the end of the day your most reliable source of love and kindness is ultimately from yourself.
Don't get me wrong, sure your family can love you but one day they will pass on,
And when they aren't around who's left to love you?
Your love for yourself will cease when you cease to exist.
Or at least it should.
Love yourselves guys.
Don't be too hard on yourselves.
Life's one hell of a rocky hill.
Even The Rock gets knocked down sometimes.
Treat yourself to some Rocky road icecream.
All these rock references....
Anyway,
I think im going to take a break tonight
And tomorrow.
Maybe.
A full proper break.
No math equations, no lit books.
Be a Gandalf on set.
I still feel really hesitant about it since I am unprepared for the papers but if I don't take a break now... Once school reopens my next break will be after As.
-Hangon, lemme think about it while I shower.-
Right im back, and im taking the break.
Officially on ACTUAL break as of now, 5.34pm Friday till the end of Saturday night.
*throws confetti*
Im not gutsy enough to advise anyone of you to do the same, in case this doesn't actually work out, but hey don't burn out alright.
Take a break if you are tired.
Im serious.
And if you've been working extra hard lately, and you think you might actually burn out, join me on vacation man.
All smiles on sunnyville.
Also, 75% of this may be due to pms.
#justsaying.
The fatigue is real though, my head and shoulders are aching really really badly.
Time to do some serious yoga.
If you guys havent noticed, my mood has improved considerably ever since I decided on the break.
I entertained myself with lotr memes and ellen's jokes for quite a bit...
Hence the random gifs scattered through this post...
Anyway im quite positive I will start to doubt my decision soon (habit) but until then...
Let's head down to the Shire shall we?
(thinking I've all the time in the world when As exploding right behind me)
Okay maybe i'll just spend the entire day watching lotr, do yoga and rejuvenate.
Bye guys.
