Im not sorry if you guys expected the title to be some metaphorical lit crap that im referring to.
It is what it is,
Im eating apples cooked down with cinnamon goodness out of a saucepan.
The apple pie without the pie.
How to go on a healthy diet when you breathe dessert.
Dessert is my oxygen.
I really don't know what im trying to get at.
Why am I here.
Ohright, to be an arrogant lil snob.
I do take pride in myself, im an Aries after all.
Nine till Five
After yesterday's miserable unproductive day, I legit dragged myself up and lugged my bag to school to study.
Mind you, it was pretty darn heavy.
Anyway, im proud to say that I successfully studied for 8 hours straight, with a 45 min lunch break in between.
The school library is a wonderful place to study in.
Actually, the school is, when it's actually quiet and empty.
But eight hours was as far as I could go.
Damn I don't remember ever studying so hard before in my jc life.
Or maybe I did for promos..
Okay I don't think so.
5pm.
FORGING ON.
I think i've rediscovered some part of me.
Some.
But it's progress.
Starting to enjoy my own presence and getting into a new routine with myself.
a new one because nothing ever seem this foreign before.
I guess some people do change your world inside out.
It feels like you're trying to remember some part of you that you've chosen to forgo a long while ago.
Yeah, that's what it feels like.
Four months is too short a time for things to turn 180 degrees around for the better.
Maybe 10 degrees.
Maybe 5.
Maybe 1.
Nah, not 1,
5.
5 degrees towards getting better.
Takes a whole lot of effort.
And listening to the head and turning away from the pulsing desire to
Send a text.
Make a call.
Ask you out.
Anything that offers the comfort of familiarity is to be strictly avoided.
Don't go on to Tumblr.
Don't go to that movie theatre.
Don't look through your photo album.
Don't fumble through your wallet and find the Polaroids that remain there.
Don't open the drawer of handwritten cards.
There are so many rules to obey just to get
by.
But not all rules are meant to broken.
A broken rule would then trigger some form of.. Thing
And before I know it im back at square 1.
Which is precisely why I dread breaking any of the self assigned rules.
I don't want to be a pathetic mess all over again.
Don't remember that studying was easier when you were having fun.
Don't recall that there used to be no leftovers when you made dessert.
Don't think about sweater weather.
Don't remember how you cured your colds.
Don't think about backrubs when your shoulders are sore.
