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Seeing life from the other end.
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I don't know about you guys,
but sometimes I prefer to listen to poetry rather than read them in their wordy form.
maybe it's to do with the fact that Im exposed to poems practically every day as a lit student,
and well, having the poet read it out is just... different.
which is what makes slam poetry so interesting.
also, im pretty sure there's like a name for reading poems aloud... a legit name that I suddenly can't recall so sorrrrrrryez.
IM DONE WITH PRELIMS!!!!!!!
omgosh, finally.
with all these little zits popping up on my head,
the stress is real.
Im feeling rather relieved that im getting a break although I don't think I deserve it...
:(
Right, with regards to the self declared break in my previous entry,
yes I did take a proper decent day off,
and yes it was also due to the crazy pms that drove me nuts.
Basically went to chill at my Grandma's place and played with the little cousin of mine.
popo's crepes are the best.
handsdown.
Anyway,
in all honesty,
I always get this rather strange feeling after my exams end.
just this "uhm okay now what?" feeling that just bugs me.
Of course, given that I no longer am preoccupied with studying (for these two days at least)
my mind was granted permission to run a little wild.
think of things that I tried not to think of during the exams.
I suck at being a friend.
Really.
i mean don't get me wrong,
i really do try to be a good friend,
and be there whenever my friends are in need of help and need a listening ear.
im all down for that.
But apart from being there for people when they need me,
I can't quite maintain a tight bond or constant bond with people.
As in, I can hang around for a bit, a couple of days,
but eventually my individualistic self will retreat back into my "own zone" and i simply want to indulge in my own company and have some... peace?
before i go back out here into the world and socialise and all again.
I don't know what im trying to get at, im rambling but read on if you get me.
However this habit of mine doesn't prevent me from making friends,
or keeping them rather.
i can keep my friends, but the nature of the way i interact with others makes it difficult for me to form really really really tight friendships.
My longest friendship to date is perhaps with....Sharon?
I've known her for 9 years and although we do not talk to each other on a daily basis, (heck no, sometimes we don't even contact each other for months) at the end of the day, when shit happens in life, she will always always always be there for me.
Whether it was at my grandma's funeral, whether i got into a fight, whether i was crying over a guy,
I know she has my back,
and I've got hers too.
I don't know how it works,
but i suppose if you really truly care for somebody,
time apart doesn't count as much,
and when you speak again the conversation will hit off like it has never stopped.
and that's what really counts isn't it?
it isn't about who you talk to every single day,
it is about who turns up when everyone has gone away.
But such a friendship is hard to muster and i don't know,
Im just wondering if any of my connections with people will be able to survive like that too.
Or will it falter off and fade away just like most friendships do once Life and Time gets in the way.