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Hi, i'm still in the midst of Chinese new year celebrations and i've photos to upload but the wires just aren't working right so there's a technical issue here...
This new year has been good though.
Managed to meet up with my friends as well as spend meaningful time with the family, both close and extended.
Y'know I truly believe in looking for the good side of things no matter how bad a situation might be.
When the chinese new year was approaching, I was honestly quite blue and well slightly paranoid.
Last cny was a really sucky one since my great grandma passed away on new year day itself and then my Ah-ma passed on in April as well.
Welcoming the new year this time round just didn't feel quite right since it's the first year without my ah-ma at reunion dinner with us.
Chinese New Year is a big part of our family, especially for my Dad's extended family since it's probably the only time we really meet up together. We weren't really close but well, we are still family.
When ahma fell ill and eventually passed on, it strangely brought the entire family closer together.
I suppose it is the shared loss of a loved one that managed to bond us together.
The family (adults included) were honestly at a loss this new year as to what kind of gathering we should hold, or if we even should have a reunion gathering or not.
In the past it was all in the favor of our grandma, wherever was most convenient for her.
From dining at her place, to going to a restaurant near the hospital in Bukit Merah, everything was really for her.
Nothing was really planned this year until about a day before CNY eve,
when the adults decided to plan a gathering anyway,
and this time round, at our place.
And i thought that it was the perfect arrangement since our place is just opposite Ah-ma's old house and the ancestral tablet is situated in our home.
So this afternoon, my dad ordered a buffet, mum cooked a few dishes, I put on a movie on TV and everyone came over.
Maybe it is because we are finally gathering in one of our houses, or maybe it's because our living room isn't that big or maybe it's just because we are what we are, family, but whatever it is, it felt cosy, happy and nice.
I felt like I got a taste of what a "reunion" truly means in our family today, and it's great.
Sure I miss Ah-ma dearly and inevitably tear up time to time, but I guess the one "good" thing or at least something marginally positive that came from her passing on is that she's no longer in pain and that our family is ever more bonded with her in our hearts.
That, at least gave some meaning to good in goodbye.