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Seeing life from the other end.: I'm a little emotional these days, but I'm glad that it is in a good way today.
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How long has it been since I last wrote here? Because all of a sudden I feel like I don't know how blog posts start eeks.
The last couple of days weren't very rosy for me.
I would want to say that I don't know how I got there but as a matter of fact I do know why I was feeling blue.
And it's the knowledge that i am aware of what made me down that actually made even sadder.
Because I didn't really expect myself to be blue but I was and i don't know, I just felt like a mess.
So I did the next best thing I could that doesn't involve cakes or a bed,
I reread Perks Of Being A Wallflower.
When you're a messed up person and you read a book that has messed up people,
the messy world just makes a lot more sense.
And all of a sudden it makes you feel as if you're not so messed up after all.
It's my third time reading this novel, and believe me when I say that it is not just a teenage read.
The first time I read it, there were things and phrases that I couldn't really comprehend.
I understood more of it the second time I read it.
And this time round, I really read through the sentences, word by word, and thought through what was written.
I thought about what the characters said, how they interacted, how they reacted to situations or if they made situations.
And i thought about the themes throughout the novel and I began to understand many things a lot better.
It is a book that is great for those coming to age, but it is equally good for almost adults or adults cause it makes you think about people.
And it is very relatable.
I don't know how much longer I can keep going without a friend. I used to be able to do it very easily, but that was before I knew what having a friend was like. It's much easier not to know sometimes. And to have french fries with your mom be enough.
-Charlie
That quote is from the book.
On the first read it may sound like just a generic sentence by a lonely teen, but read it again.
Isn't it so true how often we feel sad/empty not because we actually want it but because we felt what it was like to have it before so we miss it?
It isn't the object or whatever it is that we do not have that's making us sad.
It is the knowledge that we lost it that makes us blue.
Food for thought there.
Anyway, do read the book if you have not.
It got me through the last couple of days.
I am glad to say however, that I am feeling a lot more cheery and sunny today (:
And most of it is probably because I got to hang out a bit with my parents.
My dad came into the kitchen this morning, said his version of 'hi' (which is "Oh you are out of bed! I thought you are gonna sleep in today" in chinese) before going to the fridge and he cut up some fruits for me to eat.
You have to understand that on if I were to be a princess and ask my mum to help me cut a fruit for me on a typical day, my dad would go "你几岁了，自己切！" which basically means "you're not a baby, go cut yourself some fruit".
So it felt nice to be pampered by my dad today cause he cut me some fruits...
(:
My parents and I went for lunch in the afternoon.
While in the car, they were discussing about kueh lapis and my mum mentioned how she ordered a really nice one for us this newyear and my dad said, "Ask Hanjing to make the cake from the other day. Hanjing's cake was really good."
It was a passing comment, but that was quite a moment for me.
If you know my dad, and the family that I have, you should probably understand that most compliments from him are usually showered on my little sister or my older brother. Being the middle kid doesn't really get you much attention because well, you're not thatttt successful as your older sibling yet nor are you as child-like and innocent as your younger sibling.
"When I was driving home, i thought about the word "special". And i thought the last person who said that about me was my aunt Helen. I was very grateful to have heard it again. Because I guess we all forget sometimes. And I think everyone is special in their own way. I really do." - Charlie.
What my dad said made me feel special.
And I know he loves all of us the same way, but sometimes he tells one or two of us more often, so hearing it from him in actual wave lengths and frequency just reminded the one who doesn't hear it so often, to know that I am special.
And thinking of it makes me want to cry a little happy cry.
It is not very often that I get to spend full afternoons out with the two of them alone so it was very nice.
Other than the part at the coffee shop when we were eating and the pigeons just kept coming to me and I jumped about and had a rather stressful time thinking about birds attacking me than eating with my parents.
Daddy decided to drive us to the mall afterwards, and I went shopping with Mummy.
Again, it has been quite a long while since I went to the mall with my mum and it felt great.
I don't know how many of you remember this but my relationship with my mum soured the past one or two years.
It got a lot better in recent months and I'm really glad because I really do love her.
We went around Metro for her to buy clothes but they were rather frumpy looking so we ended up at the lingerie section.
I was actually contemplating if this is too much for the internet but I figured it is a beautiful thing to share what I do with my mum and I'll only regret it if I don't write it down now because I may forget and I don't want to do that.
We do lingerie shopping every year, and I suppose it has become our little tradition.
I love shopping for lingerie.
I don't think my mum loves it as much because it creates an awful dent in her bank account balance, but I think she likes spending time with me as well so it's worth it.
Anyway, I won't go too much into lingerie shopping here because it is the internet after all and there are weird people around. But if you're wondering what retail therapy I thoroughly enjoy, it is buying new lingerie.
Nothing is better than buying a matching set of underwear that makes you feel great about yourself.
Okay before this gets weird, I better move on.
I brought my mum to Tracyeinny afterwards to introduce her to the wonders of local clothing lines and online shopping.
Needless to say she fell in love with the clothes there and we had a great time gushing over clothes and just sending her pieces of clothing to the changing room to try on.
The great thing is that many of the clothes are a little tad too mature for me but since my mum looks rather youthful for her age and is petite, she can pull of those gorgeous clothes that I will need to wait to wear.
Cher Scenic Midi Skirt
JUST LOOK AT THAT SKIRT.
Oh My Gosh.
It is like a fairytale story on your skirt.
Who doesn't want that??
I do.
and my mum too.
Hahaha, so yes she got that and a few other pieces of clothing as well.
Y'know despite the fact that I couldn't find anything suitable for myself, I was really happy that I got to spend time with my mum and pick out clothes for her.
I realised the other day that she doesn't really get the luxury of shopping with girlfriends without a care, since most of the time she's either busy with work, helping out at the temples, volunteering or doing house chores.
And neither does she really hang out with her friends because of all the commitments that she has, one of them being taking care of her 3 kids.
So essentially I am one of her best friends, and I don't know why it took me so long to realise it.
And y'know being one of the two closest girlfriends that she has (my sis's the other one) I feel responsible to inject time for her to pamper and indulge herself.
y'know the thing about writing/blogging is that as you write, you actually start to feel more and I feel that this just hit me rightt in the feels/the chest whichever you prefer.
And i also realize that y'know words are only going to remain as mere alphabets until I do something about it.
Yeah.
so, i think i'm gonna go help her out with some house chores now and mull over all that i've just shared with y'all.
I'm a little emotional these days, but I'm glad that it is in a good way today.
We all need days like these.
It makes us a little softer and in this crazy world, I think it's important to remember to be a little more tenderhearted.
