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I used to think that I'm a very careful person.
Careful as in I would think (if not overthink) and weigh all odds and possiblities before making a decision.
That doesn't happen with you though.
For some strange unknown reason you rob me of all my ability to think straight.
Stretch. Roll over to grab your phone from the nightstand. Squint at the glaring light from the screen. See a couple of texts. Wait, hang on. Rub your eyes. Look again. Roll over away from your phone and blink a couple of times. Are you awake? Roll back and pick up the phone. holymoly. Spend the next ten minutes in bed, conversing to and fro through some radio frequency in the air that can magically if not amazingly transmit all the words you can afford to produce on a Saturday morning, halfway round the country. Be completely oblivious to the grin that is on your face. Wait. Wha- What did you just read? Holy moly. Re-read and repeat it in your head about five more times. Are you sure you are awake. Say yes. Yes, you are willing to risk having all of your hard work and emotional "therapy" for the past one year go to waste. Yes. Yes. You know it will always be yes. "Yes, I will go out with you." And you do. But not before having 7 hours of "what have I done" and a "it's not too late to call this off". And a million and one more questions. You distract your pounding heart and cope with it by busying yourself with everything and anything. House chores? Sure. Clean the room for fun? Sure. Eat breakfast? Sure. Water the plants? Sure. Shower. Done. Choose an outfit. Done. Put some makeup on to look more than decent. As the wise ones say, fake it till you make it. You have to at least look somewhat confident and at ease even if you feel like hiding under your covers in bed. Done. Head out of the house. Done. Reach destination. Check. Contact said person. Check. Look up and see him walking over and for a moment or two, forget how to breathe. Che---ck. Lose track of everything else you had planned to say or do and be completely and entirely swept away by the Moment and it's entity.