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What's the point of good in goodbye?
Was there ever one?
These few days really got me thinking again, been seeing life from the other side- the opposite of life.
I guess that's how I've been ever since when was it, hm, 9 years ago when ah-gong passed on.
And suddenly there was a shift in my world or rather how I saw the world.
Y'know they always said that there is a point in your life when you will suddenly "grow up".
I think I grew up that day.
From that moment when mummy's phone rang while we were driving back home from the hospital, to when we stood by the side of the road in the chilly wee hours of the morning, to when we saw the entire block of wood or was it cement- coffin getting swallowed by the flames, burning him into nothing but pale grey ashes and bones-
i realised that we are actually going to die.
some day, one day.
What followed after, were nightmares after nightmares of the people around me, my loved ones, the closest, dying and eventually, dead. And I would wake up in a pool of my tears, pinch my skin and look for mummy, who's eating oatmeal at the kitchen table. She will then ask me what happened and I would shake my head. How do you tell your mum that you just dreamt of her dying?
It was more than enough then, and even now, to see her by the table eating her cooked oats.
Those dreams haunted me, and they did come true, one by one- because death is inevitable, after all.
But until then, before they become dreaded reality, they remind me that I haven't said enough "I love you"s to those around me, to those who mean something.